Calm Your Perfectionist
Whether you are dating or are in a relationship, these tips will prove to be the best thing you can do for yourself each day.
I was working with a client who has had the experience of being super stressed about meeting guys. She is constantly judging what she said, did, her looks… Her running belief is that if she’s perfect, someone will like her. Nobody is perfect. This will also keep you in your head, which is a stressful way to be.
As a result she has attracted men who seem jumpy. Now we all know that when we are triggered by someone in our presence, it’s really a reflection of a part of us we need to acknowledge. When we can see that we are stressed out by trying to be perfect, which is another way of trying to control everything, it is obvious that you’re not able to be yourself. I offered her the tips and below and others on calming her energy and now I offer three of them to you.
This will help when you’re in that relationship too. So many times, we forget that relationships aren’t perfect, take everything so seriously, and stress ourselves out. We think, “My partner did this. It’s wrong. Maybe this is a sign we shouldn’t be together…” Our partner may even think we’ve gone loco. Well, being in our head too much can definitely cause us to feel a bit crazy and act like a crazy person.
When we do this we are not the best partner we can be. On top of that, we stress our partner out. Try touching a person who is stressed out to the max. They’re jumpy and not relaxing to be around. Now your partner has to walk on egg shells around you, the stress monger. Now the two of you are freaking out! STOP: Remember that nothing is perfect.
Don’t worry! There are many things you can do to calm yourself. It only takes a minute or so to return to peace. Try these out:
1) Take a DEEP breath
2) Get grounded
3) Affirm: “I am safe. I am ok.”
I hope you have a good time calming your perfectionist!