How to Detach from Unhealthy Love
I had a dream where a woman was at her ex boyfriend’s house. She was very attracted to him always wanting to touch his sexy body. This ex kept asking her to marry him and she knew she was a no, but was still in his home. All of a sudden, he told her she had to hide. She knew this pattern all too well of him not being out loud with their relationship either because he was seeing another woman or because he was not wanting to be seen with her for some reason or another. That was the last straw and she needed to question herself as his behavior was intolerable. “What am I doing here? I will never trust him and I don’t want to have children with this guy.”
Then I saw her holding a little boy and playing puppet show with him having so much fun.
When I woke up, I realized this dream was for my client that morning. Everything rang true and we had to remove cords from her and this guy. If you suspect you may have cords to remove, call in St. Germaine or any helper you have in spirit to take any and all cords to Source, God, Ah, the Divine, so that you are both fed from the Divine energy and not each other. Simply cutting cords doesn’t work as the other person will feel it as is the case with my client. Someone had just that week cut a cord from her ex and he felt the disconnect and called her trying to get back into her energy.
When we tried to send these cords to Source, they were coming right back so I listened for a subconscious belief that might be holding them in place. Sure enough, there was a belief that said, “I need to suffer in love.” I asked her about this belief and she remembered seeing her parent’s relationship was very much like the relationship she had with this guy. She took on this belief that love means suffering and was ready to be free from it. So we blew up that belief with a big breath together and it was gone. Back to the cords, we sent them to Source and they went this time. Then she needed a death ritual for all of the residual pain, anger, hurt from betrayal and anything else that was there that needed to go. A death ritual is where you ask Source/God to take anything the person no longer needs in a particular area.
When you come out of the energy of a relationship, it is important to remain out of it. This woman wanted to be friends with him for so long after the relationship that she was allowing her energy to be with him pretty much whenever he needed her. This wasn’t allowing her to meet her new man with whom she will have children. If you have a child together, there are other ways to hold boundaries with your energy.
If you don’t have children, what I recommend is a clean break, now that the cords are released and you’ve put to rest the old energy. If this guy contacts you again, you can simply not respond or kindly let him know, “I need you to stop contacting me.” There is no explanation needed. This may seem cruel, but you know you are not coming from a cruel place. You are simply taking care of you. Trying to explain to someone who wants to be with you will not go over well anyway. Haven’t you given him enough of your energy already? If he continues to contact you after you’ve kindly asked him, I would then say, (and I have said this and it worked,) “I need you not to contact me anymore. If you do, I will have to block you.” This should be enough. If not, block him.
*A note on missing him. You can miss him and probably will. Allow yourself the time and space to acknowledge these feelings, but DO NOT call him. Ask spirit to hold you. Call someone you trust will hold space for you to be sad. You can even imagine him in front of you in his energy body and say whatever you need to say that hasn’t been said. Then dismiss his energy with a blessing and take a bath or make yourself and nice meal. If you’re up for it, you can plan something social so you meet new friends. You’re grieving the lost dream of having a life with this guy. Just know there is someone who can love you even better who IS good for you and the path you’re on.