Not in Love with your Job?
People say that what you love doing as a kid is your life purpose. I loved petting my bunny, coloring, writing in my diary and healing animals and holding babies. I also seemed to love anything that had to do with love, like the care bears or romance. I also loved speaking into my tape recorder, now I’m dating myself. I would pretend the whole world could hear me. I also loved going to school.
I knew I wanted to be a teacher at a young age. My mother reminded me that I would teach the neighborhood kids songs and whatever I learned. I remember my teachers being so sweet, except one. Mrs. Dempsey was my favorite. She walked with a brace on her leg and was my role model of sweetness. I remember learning spelling and having fun with my homework. Asking for extra homework was a common occurrence for me. You may not be in a teaching position, but I think the red flags are common when you’re in the wrong career for you.
When I became a school teacher, I had no idea what I signed up for. My first day the kids were cussing at each other, not listening and not excited to learn. My car was keyed and when I mentioned it to the class they laughed. I remember calling my mom after the first day crying and asking, “When will it get better?” I became the best teacher I could be over the next 10 years. Even received nominations for teacher of the year. However, every morning when I woke up, I didn’t want to be on the planet anymore. I would ask my husband for a gun because I was miserable. I loved the kids, minus the behavior problems that seemed to always be in my class. I just felt not myself when I knew I had to go to work.
The first thing that was extremely hard for me was waking up at the early hours. For me, this is death. My mind, body and spirit don’t come alive until around 10:00am. The usual time for me to naturally wake us is between 7:30am-8:00am depending on how much exercise I had the day before. This has been my rhythm of sleep that keeps me happy. Well, in the school district, my arrival time was 7:30am. Uh, what?!? This is what I call the first red flag in my district teaching job. When you have to change your natural bodily cycle for a job, I say, “Reconsider taking that job.” But no one told me that.
What did I do to force myself wake up? I don’t drink coffee because I have never liked the taste. I ate sugar cereals and drank a daily chai latte. This not only made me jittery, but craving more in the afternoon. So I reached for my sugar-caffeine bomb cola of choice, Pepsi. Then grabbed some reces pieces or m&m’s to continue before dinner. I know now that sugar weakens the immune system. No wonder I was sick all time. Anxiety and depression started to set in. I also had reactions to medications. You can probably guess where my soul was urging me to go towards alternative health modalities.
The second thing that I look back on as a red flag for that position was that I had no control over my schedule. I felt like a hummingbird trapped in a cage. If you don’t know, a hummingbird in a cage dies. That was me, year after year, hoping it would get better. I’m not a victim here, but I sure thought I was. For me to have the freedom to go to the bathroom when I need to, without having to drag the class with me, was a simple request. Well, it turns out, there were only classroom aids in kindergarten, so I needed to call the office t have someone relieve me. If they weren’t available, we took a field trip to the bathroom and the children were expected to be very quiet while they sat outside. What if I needed to go for more than a pee break? Torture.
I could go on and on about the hours, meetings, forcing children to do what they weren’t naturally equipped to do and on and on, but you get the picture.
You know you need to consider working somewhere else, when you dread the minute you set foot on the premises and look at the clock every five minutes until the next break until the end of the day. You may have nightmares or insomnia and reach for addictive devices such as sugar, caffeine, alcohol, pills, whatever. You leave the place hoping you never have to go back or dread Sundays or coming back from a vacation only to know you have to go back.
I believe we can choose a different path for ourselves if we are brave. I’m not promising it will be easy, but I did it for my health and well being. As a result of me taking a year of from the district, based on the urgings of my husband at the time, I was able to see what else might be a possibility for me. I prayed for help from spirit who I couldn’t yet see, but knew existed.
If we only ask and trust listen with an open heart, spirit will give us answers. We often don’t have all of the answers I a clean cut big picture, but little answers taken action upon lead to a great life I my opinion.
In the middle of the night I was awakened with this knowing that I needed to look up nutrition schools. I started taking nutrition classes at the School of Healing Arts in San Diego and shortly after found Reiki while I was at a health conference. That same year I learned visualization and meditation techniques and took nature walks. I felt so free, even though there was no money coming in and I had to live frugally. I never thought I would start my own business, but after learning Reiki I just knew I needed to start a practice and help people feel as good as I was feeling. Along with me getting off sugar and caffeine, (NOT EASY), doing Reiki on myself daily strengthened my immune system. Performing sessions on others evolved into my intuitive gifts unfolding each time. My dreams started working to help others and now I have a whole practice around healing with dreams. I teach Reiki at the School of Healing Arts where I started nutrition, online, via Skype and at The Unity Center. I couldn’t stop teaching if I tried. My mother knows that. I’m still teaching, just on my own schedule and what I want to teach based on a pace that works for me and the wonderful students I’ve met. My writings are my diary and I love helping hearts around the world find self love and romantic love. I’m doing almost all of the thing I loved to do as a girl. This is a much better alternative to hating my work life before.
I hope this helps,